Colossians 3:18

Here, Paul begins his conclusion of this letter. This verse begins a section where Paul segments people and directs specific words to them, starting with the wives.

He said wives, submit to your husbands. What that means is that if the word submits triggers you, maybe you should not marry.

If you are going to hold on to your arrogance and self-importance and seek to derive your identity from how much you can have your way, there is a problem.

But you say you don't know my husband; he is a terrible human being. But Paul is not giving you any room to get away from the instruction to submit to your husbands.

But one thing I am also sure of is that Paul did not write this for the husbands to use to beat down the wives because, in the preceding verses, he provides guidance about what virtues should characterize believers.

Also, Paul is not conditioning his command on the husband being a believer.

The wives are supposed to submit to their husbands as a Christian virtue; that is why he added that it is fitting in the Lord.

He did not say submit to your husbands as you see in your culture or the experiences around you, or learn from your culture, but rather learn from the Lord. Basically, being Christ-like for the woman is seen in submission to their husband.

Paul had said in the previous verse, whatever you do in word and deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, meaning do it because you are motivated by the need to please the Lord Jesus, you are living as if (which is true) that Jesus is looking at you.

Also, as it is fitting in the Lord means that is what God expects from you as a Christian woman.

Do you know how far Jesus went to submit to the will of the Father? Very far indeed. The submission of Jesus was described as being to the point of death; He said let my will be done and not your will (Luke 22:42).

If you are looking for an example of submission, look no further than to Christ. He is our example if you are asking.

Submitting to your husband does not mean:

• You should seek an ever-complicated or convoluted way to have your will done through the back door.

• You should be detached, disengaged, waiting in the wings to say I told you so.

• You should turn yourself into a rock that cannot be moved.

• Check out mentally.

• Seek for yourself a chorus of cheerleaders to shout out your will into the ears of the husband so that you will be done.

• You grumble and murmur.

• You stake out a way to cause embarrassment to the husband, to break his will, which in your mind is the only way for your will to be done.

• Come up with a long-term plan to bend the husband to your will through some form of subtlety.

• Create a siege situation because you want to have your way.

• Throw an endless tantrum.

God has already said that conflict in the house is a curse of the fall in Genesis chapter 3. Specifically, God said the woman would want to control her husband (Genesis 3:16).

So, in a way, the instruction for the wives to submit to their husbands is Paul wants the woman to choose differently.

God to the woman: You will want to control your husband (instinct)

Paul: Wives, submit to your husbands (instruction)

WOW

Do you understand?

In this verse, Paul is showing you that we are no longer fueled by instinct, fueled by the fallen nature, but rather fueled by the will of God, fuelled by the Spirit of God, by the word of God.

Submission to the husband for the wife is life in the spirit.

Again, after talking about how being in Christ impacts your relationship with fellow Christians, Paul is now mentioning the household.

He is not making it complicated; he used one word to define how the wife should relate to the husband, and he said it is “submission.”

But of course, humans would come up with more and more complexities; it is not enough for God to instruct man not to eat the fruit, they must adopt another complexity that rejects the will of God or for the will of man to pursue another agenda different from the plans and purposes of God.

But not the Christian woman who would volitionally submit to her husband as is fitting in the Lord.