Colossians 3:20

Wives submitting to their husbands is fitting in the Lord. Children obeying their parents in everything is pleasing in the Lord.

I want to emphasize again that Paul is talking about the household context.

The immediate context shows that the children being mentioned here are not independent of their parents because we see the surrounding charge to masters, slaves, wives, and husbands.

All these are relationships of interdependence connected by being in the same physical location, a house. It is what is called household codes.

Paul is showing how a God-centered household looks, with the end being harmony. His words create a shared template of truth, a shared commitment to truth by members of the household, defining the boundaries of expectations within the household.

In a way, this is what you agree to when you become a Christian, these are God’s expectations: wives submit to their husbands, husbands love their wives, children obey their parents, etc. That is Christianity, where the rubber meets the road, as they say.

And in a way, we can say that the instruction is meant to counter the worldly instinct:

• The challenge for the wife is the rejection of the husband’s authority.

• The challenge for the husband is resentment towards the wife and loving multiple women like Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-8).

• The challenge to the children is rejecting the decision of the parents.

All these are challenges of the will. It’s the question of what I should will in relation to others.

• About the husband, the wife should do what the husband wills, that is, submission. Just as Jesus said to God, not my will, but yours be done (Luke 22:42).

• For the husband, it is not to choose any other woman for intimacy, just as Christ has irreversibly chosen the church as his bride (2 Corinthians 11:2), and there is no changing that.

• And the children are to choose the will of the parents, just as we should choose the will of God over our lives, and again, as Christ chose the will of God.

The aim is for peace, not arguments, not conflicts, and most importantly, for order.

God, the bible says, “is not characterized by disorder but by peace.” 1 Corinthians 14:33. And we should be imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1-2).

The aim is for peace, not a cold war peace, but an active peace, not a resentful peace, but joyful peace at doing the will of God.

Paul did not say that children obey their parents to avoid punishment or to maintain privileges; they obey because it brings a smile to God's face. Simple. That is it. That is the motivation.

The obedience of the children to their parents should not be based on

• how good the parents are

• how much they can provide

• how they compare with other parents

• how rich the parent is

• how present in the life of the children

Every other foundation for obedience is shaky. The only firm foundation is the word of God (Matthew 7:24-27), which says children obey their parents because it is pleasing in the Lord; it is what God approves.

If Eve had limited herself to not eating the fruit because "it would please the Lord” and not engage with Satan's presentations, things would have turned out differently (Genesis 3).

Again, this is ultimately about the will, not the emotion or reasoning about it.

On components of the soul

The three components of the soul are will, mind (intellect), and emotion.

• The will acts OUTWARDLY on the facts. ACTION

• the mind engages with (or PROCESSES) the facts. THOUGHTS OR WORDS

• the emotions reacts INWARDLY to the facts. FEELINGS

Sometimes, the same facts are presented to two people, and they are moved to different actions; meaning the information that comes to the mind is the same, but the actions differ.

We have different bible examples.

• Same facts for the mind to process, different emotions, and actions by the same person. To restate that, the same facts can lead to different actions by the same person, which is what we see in repentance. The facts did not change, but how they feel about the facts changed.

  -David in the matter of Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11–12)

  -The prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32)

  -Peter denying Jesus (Mark 14:66–72)

• Same facts for the mind to process, different known emotions, different actions: The facts are the same, but different people respond differently.

  -The Samaritan and priest have the mind to get to an important place in the story of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25–37). They were presented with the same facts; one felt compassion and showed his love by the action.

• Same facts for the mind to process, unknown emotions, different or wrong actions:

  -Jesus told a parable about two sons who were said to work on the father’s farm (Matthew 21:28–32). Both heard the instruction; one said he would go but did not, and the other said he would not go but did. Same information different actions. It is therefore not about decision, but action.

  -Jesus said it is not those who call him Lord who will enter into the kingdom of heaven but those who do the will of his Father in heaven (Matthew 7:21). They may be moved to call him Lord, but lack the needed debt of genuineness. They have the information, but it is not followed by the needed action.

Conclusion

• Wives submitting to their husbands is not an appeal to the intellect or emotion,

• Children obeying their parents is not an appeal to the intellect or emotion, and

• husbands loving their wives is not an appeal to the intellect or emotion.

  They are appeals to the will. What are you going to do?